Updated: Apr 16, 2019
I definitely ’Wing‘ my way through motherhood and have done since day one but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. I see online so many people stating that they use gentle/attachment/authoritative etc styles of parenting these days, following textbook guidelines. Our babies didn’t arrive with instruction manuals so why people feel they need to be told how to raise their child, I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, reasearching and educating yourself on child behviour and psychology is a good idea but I think a lot of people get so sucked into following a trend that they lose their own mothering instincs.
I recently had a run in with a gentle parenting, home schooled family who bring their 3 children (2, 4 & 6) to our local toddler group. These children are never disciplined, often even encouraged to follow their bad behaviour and the mother very proudly talks of her chosen parenting style, giving advise to others on how they should parent.
Last week one of the boys threw his brother to the ground, thankfully not hurting him but still very violently, the mother then said “wow, that was a strong“ 😳 no input of wrong was mentioned. Next thing he does it to Max because he wanted a car he was holding, he didn’t get the car but Max did get hurt. The mother’s reaction, “you need to wait your turn” no apologies, no we shouldn’t hurt other people, no time out, no nothing!!!
I was baffled and we promptly left the group as I wasn’t going to subject my kids to that sort of behaviour but it’s still bugging me now. I’m sure if I was to tackle said mother to the ground she wouldn’t praise me so why isnt it the same for her kids!? Everyone has the right to parent how they want so I shouldn’t judge and maybe all gentle parents aren’t the same, this is the only encounter I’ve seen outside of the internet, but it’s made me fully content with my winging it style of parenting. After all humans have been around for billions of years, I‘m sure they didn’t have parenting guides back in day dot and we‘ve still managed to survive this long. Do you use a set parenting style? Do you think following set rules is the best way? I’d love to hear from you so please get in touch as it’s not something I’ve ever considered ✨